Who reads books anymore?

We all know that forums such as 2P2 and Pocket Fives are the shizz when it comes to talking about hand histories and strategy. However, there’s still a ton of value to be had from reading good old fashioned paper books. You know, the ones with colorful covers and names like “Super System” and “Play Poker Like The Pro’s“? LOL Bookaments.

Forums have their value but so do these books, often written before poker strategy forums became such a driving force in educating wannabe ballers. So if you’re ready to unplug the laptop and finish reading the latest “Heads Up for Rollz” thread from the morons at 2P2, try checking out Google or Amazon for some of the Best Poker Books to add to your collection.

Take Phil Hellmuth’s book, you can read all about how he’s made sick reads and crushed inferior opponents over the years. In the process, you may learn the best starting hands for Texas Hold’em as well. While we only recommend this book for the noobest of noobs, there’s still a case to be made for trying out a book or two vs. keeping your head stuck in Internet forums all day.

Durrrr wins 6.2 million in cash games in 2008

Tom “Durrrr” Dwan has easily topped the list of biggest online poker money winners for 2008. Taking down the title with a staggering $6.2 Million in CASH winnings (mainly at Full Tilt), he easily crushed any challengers for the top spot with the guys trailing him (Phil Ivey among them) by well over 3 million dollars.
Durrrr went on a tear in the month of December, actually dipping to a low of around 2 million in total winnings during the first week. It appeared that Phil Ivey was going to make a run for the top spot but when that began hitting the newswires on the Internet, it apparently lit a flame under Dwan’s ass. By focusing on griding 24 tables at a time and using solid Turbo SNG Strategy, he was able to rack up the cash.

NOT.

This guy only plays the highest games available online, usually playing the $500/$1000 No Limit tables. The hands that go down at this level are sick, without a doubt. But Tom is as sick as they come and thrives at limits that would even make Donald Trump wet his pants. He never looked back and now has a bankroll larger than the combined bank accounts of the Big 3 Automakers in Detroit (not sure if that’s an insult or not).

There’s a rumor that Tom’s twin brother Tim is looking for a “heads up for rollz match” with Phil Hellmuth dealing the game. No word on whether a date or location has been set for this match.

Guns, drugs, some chaw, and money = Baller?

It’s been a while since I railed on a moron from Two Plus Two but this post absolutely wins the prize for moron of the year (and to think, he almost waited to win the award for 2009!).

So what happens when you (apparently) win some cash online playing poker while dipping and taking pain killers? You guy buy this gay ass pistol, that’s what!

LOL - pistolaments

PokerTek gains more market share

Old school poker players will be disappointed to learn that PokerTek, the firm that manufactures electronic, dealer-less poker tables, has won another contract. As Casinos focus more on profit and their never ending quest to boost their bottom line, the appeal of a faster electronic poker table is a no-brainer. While Internet players will likely embrace these games, those seeking to enjoy a live game of poker “the old fashioned way” may have to look around a bit to find a table with a live dealer and real cards.

You can find PokerTek tables at many casinos from coast to coast in the US as well as any ship in the Carnival Cruise Line fleet. You may also see the exclusive, World Series of Poker heads up tables in select bars and restaurants that offer “play money” games to patrons. Now you’ll see them at the Boomtown Casino and Hotel in Bossier City, Louisiana. Players that miss the slower paced live poker games will now have to head to another casino to appreciate the tactile feel and pace of “regular poker”.

Is this the signal of a sea change in a culture that has deep roots dating back hundreds of years? Will we soon see electronic tables on ESPN for the WSOP? While that scenario may be years away, it’s not something that can be ruled out with certainty. An informal poll of Internet players indicates that they wouldn’t mind these tables. If you were to ask someone such as Doyle Brunson what his thoughts are however, you may hear a different take.

Regardless, the tables are here to stay and according to the PokerTek website, their stock is trending upwards on the NASDAQ stock exchange. That’s a clear indicator that more than just a few folks are gravitating towards this new form of live poker.

Everest Poker promotions

Twisted readers that live in Europe will love the latest promotion from Everest Poker, it’s a cool series that allows poker players the opportunity to qualify for free via a live event for the EPEC aka Everest Poker European Cup. We here at Twisted Gambler assume that most of our readers play poker so if you’re near any of these live events on the dates listed below, make sure to head over to Everest Poker to learn more details.

Country	Date	Location
FRANCE	February 7	SANREMO **
GERMANY	January 10	COLOGNE
GERMANY	January 25	FREIBURG
HUNGARY	November 25	BUDAPEST
HUNGARY	November 26	BUDAPEST
ITALY	November 18	MILAN
ITALY	November 26	BOLOGNA
ITALY	December 9	NAPLES
NETHERLANDS	Coming soon in 2009!
POLAND	December 13	WARSAW
PORTUGAL	Coming soon in 2009!
SPAIN	January 24	ARANJUEZ (MADRID)
SPAIN	February 28	SALAMANCA
SWITZERLAND	November 23	BADEN
SWITZERLAND	November 30	ESTAVAYER-LE-LAC

Poker stocks in 2008 = Donk Down

Like many stocks in 2008, poker stocks have also taken a beating this year. Companies that went public prior to the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act of 2006 are still trying to recover after the law dealt them a significant blow and 2008 has gone into the books as a year that CEO’s and COO’s will hope to forget. Below is a look at two of the most notable companies in the poker industry and how they have fared in 2008.

Party Gaming

Party Gaming went public in 2005 with an initial price of 125.50 pence but lost a third of its value a year later when the UIGEA was passed and the company had to close its doors to its American business. As of January, the company was trading at 29 pence, the company then consolidated their stock which added 10 times the value to the stock price. The Party Gaming stock price then jumped to a high of 312 pence due to rumors that the company was close to settling with the US Department of Justice. A settlement was never made and the stock is now trading at 124 pence.

World Poker Tour Enterprises

2008 has been a tough year for World Poker Tour Enterprises who has faced set back after set back. First, its online gambling site didn’t take off as expected and was closed this fall as a result. The company was also forced to take a less than lucrative TV contract with FSN after GSN opted not to renew their contract. The WPTE was told this summer by NASDAQ that it may lose its spot on the exchange due to its trading price falling below $1 for more than a month. Because of the financial crisis, the action against the company was suspended until May 2009. WPTE stock is currently trading at 36 cents though it start

Ladbrokes Poker Signs Peter “Zupp” Jepsen

So much for being a Full Tilt “Red Pro”. In the midst of several departures (David Benyamine and Clonie Gowen), it’s being reported now that Peter Jepsen has bailed to head over to Ladbrokes.

Ladbrokes Poker has announced that they have signed a sponsorship contract with Peter “Zupp” Jepsen to represent the room. He will sport Ladbrokes gear at many offline events to include the European Poker Tour and World Poker Tour tournaments as well as all the Ladbrokes events.

The announcement which came yesterday out of Copenhagen stated that the agreement will officially begin on January 1, 2009 and last initially for one year. Peter is a young and motivated poker player who is a tough competitor that does very well in both high stakes cash games as well as multi table tournaments online.

The announcement is comes as no surprise as Jepsen is good friends with fellow Ladbrokes Poker pro Jonas “Nuchbad” Danielsson. Ladbrokes has found itself with two young and talented players who define the profile of a Ladbrokes Pro. Jepsen will have his own online promotions to include Heads Up tournaments and multi table tournaments at Ladbrokes where players will have the chance to challenge and take down the new pro.

“Peter Jepsen was our main target to become our new Danish sponsored player and we are very pleased to have secured his signature. Peter is one of the best online poker player’s in Europe and has also proved that he is a good player in live tournaments after his EPT win in Warsaw last year.” said Edward Ihre, Ladbrokes Poker Managing Director.

If Michael Knight played poker

He would dominate the game. Think about it, KITT had all those special powers like being able to drive on water and turn on those boosters to jump over the bad guys. When Michael was a dumbass and got caught by the bad guys, KITT would come crashing through the walls and shit and save Michael.

Michael Knight could play live poker and KITT could help him through that little earpiece thingie that they used. He would know every players hole cards, obv.

KITT could play as bot online easily. No question what that outcome would be. In fact, if I was going to own a bot to dominate online poker it would have to be KITT. A cool ass poker bot that doubles as a black Trans Am that shoots out flames and shit? Sign me up.

I’m sure by now KITT is integrated with Google Maps, probably has all of the newest iPhone apps built into his little center console thing, and of course can Twitter so everyone knows what’s up.

Enough said.

Kimberly Lansing - next FTP Red Pro

Kimberly Lansing is hot - no doubt about it. She’s probably next in line to host the WPT seeing as how they tend to replace hosts every year anyway. She also does video interviews for Poker News and a few other news outlets. So what’s next if you’re a smoking red hot chick in the poker world?

Sign with Full Tilt Poker as a “Red Pro” of course. They’ve been on a tear lately, signing everyone from micro-limit grinders douches to this dude. So we figure that since Clonie is gone and Jennifer Harman is pretty much an absentee owner at this point, that Kimberly is the perfect choice for the next female Full Tilt Poker Red Pro. Since Daniel Negreanu is taken now (he’s the girl from PokerStars), this is the perfect opportunity to snatch up some real talent before her stock goes up.

The requirements to get this gig simply can’t be that hard.

Lets take a look:

Full Tilt Poker Red Pro Job Application

[X] Are you hot?

[X] Can you even remotely talk about and/or play poker?

[X] Do the fucktards on Two Plus Two make threads about you that blow up?

[X] Is (your name) available as a Full Tilt screen name?

[X[ Can we (FTP) make a silly ass cartoon avatar of you with big boobs?

You’re hired!

Randy Couture signs with Full Tilt Poker

If you watched the UFC fight this past weekend where Randy Couture took on the monster Brock Lesnar, you may have noticed that he wasn’t wearing his usual brand of clothing. For years Couture wore the Affliction brand and helped make the company a household name for MMA fans. Noticeably absent at this past fight however was the signature dark themed clothing on Couture.

Instead, he was covered in Full Tilt Poker branded gear before, during, and after the fight. The most noticeable was the huge Full Tilt logo on the ass of his tights. He’s also appeared on television interviews wearing FTP branded shirts and hats.

What’s interesting here is that he’s had a serious falling out with Affliction founder Todd Beard and FTP has taken that opportunity to step in and get their share of the Couture bandwagon. Beard was so pissed that he said on camera before the fight that he wished Lesnar would kill Couture. It’s interesting to note that he also resigned from Affliction on November 14th to treat an addition to alcohol and get help for anger management.

It’s too bad the 45 year old didn’t win the fight against the much younger, much larger Lesnar. Either way, Full Tilt is likely going to get some mileage of this one. Even off the fighting trail, Couture is a brand name for MMA fans and may drive new players to Full Tilt in droves.

Who knows, try hitting the lobby at Full Tilt Poker and look for Randy’s name in red. He may well be playing there right now.

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