60 minutes bluffs the online poker world

After threatening the online poker nation with taunts of airing the dirty laundry from the Ultimate Bet / Absolute Poker scandal, 60 Minutes bluffed and will air some crappy commentary on the new President of the US (is it THAT big of a deal?). We actually hear the new Obama Poker game is going to turn the poker world on its collective ear (not to mention empty a few pockets).

So for at least one more week, Internet Pokers is safe.

There’s definitely no shortage of material for the show to cover when it comes to poker. The drama in Kentucky, the above-mentioned scandal, the recent UB refund bullshit, and the WSOP final table being played out this Sunday. Reportedly they’ve interviewed several high profile poker players (even a few posers) as well as Harrah’s officials to discuss the state of poker.

Just in case the Internets are shut down and the pipes do become clogged or worse, the politicians succeed and close down online pokers, you’d better get in all the play you can while it’s still “legal”.

Obama Poker - The new Omaha

Fresh off his stunning victory for the US Presidency, Barack Obama has taken the same principles of his tax plan and introduced…

OBAMA Hi - Lo

The rules are as follows:

Each player at the table is dealt four hole cards that are not visible to the other players. There is a button, a small blind, and a big blind. Before there’s any action however, the small blind is entitled to not only see the big blinds cards but take a few of his chips. We have to make sure that the BIG BLIND doesn’t get too big, right? At the same time, we have to maintain parity so that the smaller blind has access to the same information as the big blind.

If at any point in the action a player decides to raise, any player that takes exception to that can file a grievance with the OBAMA Hi - Lo Players Union. At that time, a Union Representative will come to the table and attempt to negotiate with the raiser.

Since it’s clearly a bullying tactic and unfair to the other players, he must successfully argue his point (and grease the Union Officials pockets with a green chip) in order for his raise to stand. Otherwise, he can only smooth call. In a worst case scenario the Union can force him to fold his hand and sit out for a round as punishment for trying to “disrupt” a peaceful poker game.

At the showdown, any player who has a losing hand will be entitled to 20% of the winning player(s) pot. Why? Because it’s not fair for a winning player who clearly has the means to support the other players to take all of the money.

Of course, the player with the largest stack at the table will also have to ship at least 30% of their stack in even amounts to the less fortunate players at the table. After all, it’s not their fault that they didn’t have access to the best poker training! Perhaps the big stack comes from a privileged neighborhood and was able to afford coaching from a pro player. The smaller stacks are clearly at a disadvantage because of their broken family and lack of a father figure growing up.

Let’s not forget the dealer! This poor person didn’t have the bankroll to start with, so they were forced to become a lowly card dealer. To help these poor souls, all of their tips will be tax exempt and each player will have to send 5% of their total winnings for the night to the dealer pool, which will be shared by all dealers on duty that day. The dealers that deal fewer hands per hour will still get paid the same because to distribute the funds any other way would be discriminatory.

While the details of this new game are still being hammered out behind the scenes, it’s expected to easily pass the Senate and the House and become the new De facto poker game in 2009.

Word is that Ultimate Bet and Absolute Poker are already highly interested in hosting this poker game.

If you don’t take too kindly to getting robbed at the poker tables, we suggest you try playing here.

See you at the tables!

Vote today

Seriously, if you haven’t yet, get out and vote today.

This is perhaps the most important election of our lifetime so don’t miss your opportunity cast your vote and set our country on the right path.

And while you’re watching the results tonight, play a few hands of poker :)

Microgaming blocks access to users in 14 US states

While no public announcement has been made as of this writing, it’s being reported by several industry insiders that Microgaming is blocking access to their poker network to 14 US states. This move was apparently precipitated by the Kentucky gambling domain case and is meant as a proactive measure to avoid any of their clients’ domains being taken. There are several dozen poker sites that currently use the Microgaming network such as Royal Vegas Poker, Golden Tiger Poker, and Intertops Poker.

The states that are affected from this block are:

District of Columbia
Illinois
Indiana
Kentucky
Louisiana
Michigan
Missouri
Nevada
New Jersey
New York
Oregon
South Dakota
Washington State
Wisconsin

At this time, all 79 players on the network are in the process of moving their money over to a real site like Full Tilt.

Let’s not gamble on Sundays anymore

Better yet, let’s stop people from Kentucky from gambling any day of the week. But only on 141 gambling sites that we deem are “bad” for people. Horse Racing? Bet your paycheck. The State Lottery? Sure thing, trade those food stamps for cash and play all day! Play a game of skill such as Poker or BlackJack online in the privacy of your home? Hell no.

That’s exactly what the moronic Governor of Kentucky is doing. He’s decided that it’s up to him and his fellow corrupt politicians to legislate morality and attempt to block people from accessing these sites. In the most recent court posturing, the judge in charge of the case has tossed out the arguments from the PPA, iMEGA, and the attorneys representing the sites involved. In fact, they now have less than 30 days to geo-block the sites so that Kentucky residents can’t access them. If they fail to adhere to this policy they will lose control of their domain names in Kentucky.

I could think of nothing more pressing right now (as we fight two wars, face the largest economic crisis of our generation, and have execs on Wall Street fucking us left and right) than to make sure folks like you and I aren’t ruining our lives playing poker at Full Tilt. I’m willing to bet with the press and attention that this dumb ass governor breshears (don’t care to capitalize or spell his fucking name right) is losing sleep over getting this passed through court.

Perhaps one day this guy will look in a mirror and think, ” You know there were probably more pressing issues I could have attacked with such zeal. Naw, it’s too much fun imposing on peoples private lives and mucking with their freedom”. Great job, dickhead. I’m sure this move will win you tons of votes come election time.

Obama the favorite to win US election

If you tire of hearing the political BS from both sides in the race to become the next US President then do what we do, look to the bookies and who they’re laying odds on to win. If you think about it, these book makers have a considerable amount of skin in the game. They’re taking CASH bets on who the next President will be and if they’re wrong will lose their ass in the process.

To that end, the guys over at BetUS.com have laid –350 odds that Barack Obama will be the next President of the United States. That’s a pretty serious edge that they’ve giving him and reflects the amount of confidence in their research. Of course he’s leading in most polls and appears to be leading even in the so-called “swing states”.

After watching the debates last night and seeing John McCain hobble around barely able to lift the microphone to his mouth to talk, we think BetUS.com may be on to something here. Unless McCain makes strides to attack Obama and his relationships with domestic terrorists like William Ayers, there likely won’t be too many folks making bets on (what appears to now be) an upset victory by McCain. Of course, like other things we all bet on (sports, poker, slots) there’s always a chance to take a bad beat. Depending on your political leanings that may be a good thing or a bad thing. Either way, come November we’ll all know for sure.