Calling off all of his remaining stack of 200K on the river with two pair is sick at these nosebleed limits. So sick. But this adds yet another historic pot to his belt and lifts durrrr to over 2 MILLION in winnings for October.

Here’s the drama as it played out:

Full Tilt Poker Game #8659493490: Table RailHeaven (6 max) – $500/$1000 – No Limit Hold’em – 20:00:45 ET – 2008/10/25
Seat 1: durrrr ($308,984.25)
Seat 2: LarsLuzak ($311,232.25)
Seat 4: Ziigmund ($100,000), is sitting out
LarsLuzak posts the small blind of $500
durrrr posts the big blind of $1,000
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
LarsLuzak raises to $3,000
durrrr calls $2,000
*** FLOP *** [9c 5d 2s]
durrrr checks
LarsLuzak bets $4,000
durrrr raises to $12,700
LarsLuzak has 15 seconds left to act
LarsLuzak calls $8,700
*** TURN *** [9c 5d 2s] [Ac]
durrrr has 15 seconds left to act
Ziigmund stands up
durrrr bets $24,700
LarsLuzak has 15 seconds left to act
LarsLuzak calls $24,700
*** RIVER *** [9c 5d 2s Ac] [7h]
durrrr has 15 seconds left to act
durrrr bets $68,700
LarsLuzak has 15 seconds left to act
LarsLuzak has requested TIME
LarsLuzak raises to $270,832.25, and is all in
durrrr has 15 seconds left to act
durrrr has requested TIME
durrrr calls $199,884.25, and is all in
Uncalled bet of $2,248 returned to LarsLuzak
*** SHOW DOWN ***
LarsLuzak shows [6d 4s] Ace Nine high
durrrr shows [Ad 9d] two pair, Aces and Nines
durrrr wins the pot ($617,968) with two pair, Aces and Nines
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $617,968.50 | Rake $0.50
Board: [9c 5d 2s Ac 7h]
Seat 1: durrrr (big blind) showed [Ad 9d] and won ($617,968) with two pair, Aces and Nines
Seat 2: LarsLuzak (small blind) showed [6d 4s] and lost with Ace Nine high
Seat 4: Ziigmund is sitting out

It’s a sad commentary on the US attitude of entitlement but often a very common event once a family member learns of another family member who’s “made it big”.  While reading his monthly copy of “Ventriloquist Quarterly”, Tim Dwan saw a small side item about one of his “peers” running into Tom after a show at the Bellagio.

Tim showed up in Vegas the very next day and began to search for his brother in earnest. Rather than end his search in vain, Tim asked Twisted Gambler to help. We didn’t have to look any further than the chat box at FTP at Rail Heaven.

When confronted with details of his twin brother still being alive, Tom replied “I thought that bastard died after the wood chipper incident. It was a complete accident, obv but if that dude is looking for money he’s out of his mind”.

Tim had little to offer in terms of a reply other than to say, “The wood chipper incident is matter of interpretation and my attorneys will present our version very soon”.

While it’s the policy here at Twisted to remain neutral on legal matters between brothers, we still can’t get over the resemblance these two have. Regardless of whether Tom really did try to turn his brother into a box of toothpicks, we believe that these two will ultimately resolve their differences.

According to the Market Pulse database at PokerListings Tom “durrrr” Dwan tops the list with YTD winnings of $2.4 million. The list only tracks the top 100 and here’s where it get’s interesting – deeznuts6 barely makes the list at $135K. You read right, of the the gazillons of folks out there banging their keyboards all day and night playing online poker, the guy that SWEAKS into the top 100 is banking a little over a 100 grand. While I’m very proud of him (I’m sure his mother is proud too), that’s pretty damn discouraging for the rest of us.

If that’s the top 100, what do you think the 1,000th best player has made this year? Maybe 50K? Jack shit is more likely and that probably puts the 10,000th guy in the same class and you and me, playing at a mother-fucking loss. Cmon, once you get past the top “few hundred” online players the rest of us have no chance. I hate to rain on your parade here but the numbers simply don’t lie. Sure, there’s folks that win big at tournaments online and this list isn’t tracking those but I bet you’re not on the top 1,000 list of those winners either, right?

I know we all want to be like durrr and wear gay ass hats and be made fun of on 2P2 while we count our millions online. Unfortunately, you’re not going to be that guy. Ever. If you insist on trying anyway however, we did find a new site that accepts US players and processes credit cards for deposits. So head there and see if you can crack the list. Prove me wrong and I’ll write a big ass article here admiting that I’m the dumbass who predicted you can’t make money playing online poker.