Gustav the Red Full Tilt Pro

Sung to “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”

Gustav the Red Full Tilt Pro

Used to ship his chips in light,

And if you ever saw him,

You would say he makes Eli look tight.

All of the other players

Used to laugh and call him lame.

They never let poor Gustav

Play in any Full Tilt games.

Then Gus won three Double-You Pee Tees,

And Howard came to say:

“Gustav with your fame so bright,

Please be a red pro at my site!”

Now all the players love him,

And they chat him up with glee:

“Let us sit down at your table

And give you all of our monies.”

“We’ll give you all of our monies!”

Gus may play at Full Tilt but I wouldn’t be surprised to see an ace up his sleeve before too long…

Kimberly Lansing - next FTP Red Pro

Kimberly Lansing is hot - no doubt about it. She’s probably next in line to host the WPT seeing as how they tend to replace hosts every year anyway. She also does video interviews for Poker News and a few other news outlets. So what’s next if you’re a smoking red hot chick in the poker world?

Sign with Full Tilt Poker as a “Red Pro” of course. They’ve been on a tear lately, signing everyone from micro-limit grinders douches to this dude. So we figure that since Clonie is gone and Jennifer Harman is pretty much an absentee owner at this point, that Kimberly is the perfect choice for the next female Full Tilt Poker Red Pro. Since Daniel Negreanu is taken now (he’s the girl from PokerStars), this is the perfect opportunity to snatch up some real talent before her stock goes up.

The requirements to get this gig simply can’t be that hard.

Lets take a look:

Full Tilt Poker Red Pro Job Application

[X] Are you hot?

[X] Can you even remotely talk about and/or play poker?

[X] Do the fucktards on Two Plus Two make threads about you that blow up?

[X] Is (your name) available as a Full Tilt screen name?

[X[ Can we (FTP) make a silly ass cartoon avatar of you with big boobs?

You’re hired!

Randy Couture signs with Full Tilt Poker

If you watched the UFC fight this past weekend where Randy Couture took on the monster Brock Lesnar, you may have noticed that he wasn’t wearing his usual brand of clothing. For years Couture wore the Affliction brand and helped make the company a household name for MMA fans. Noticeably absent at this past fight however was the signature dark themed clothing on Couture.

Instead, he was covered in Full Tilt Poker branded gear before, during, and after the fight. The most noticeable was the huge Full Tilt logo on the ass of his tights. He’s also appeared on television interviews wearing FTP branded shirts and hats.

What’s interesting here is that he’s had a serious falling out with Affliction founder Todd Beard and FTP has taken that opportunity to step in and get their share of the Couture bandwagon. Beard was so pissed that he said on camera before the fight that he wished Lesnar would kill Couture. It’s interesting to note that he also resigned from Affliction on November 14th to treat an addition to alcohol and get help for anger management.

It’s too bad the 45 year old didn’t win the fight against the much younger, much larger Lesnar. Either way, Full Tilt is likely going to get some mileage of this one. Even off the fighting trail, Couture is a brand name for MMA fans and may drive new players to Full Tilt in droves.

Who knows, try hitting the lobby at Full Tilt Poker and look for Randy’s name in red. He may well be playing there right now.

Clonie Gowen sues Full Tilt Poker

Cyaclona “Clonie” Gowen (what a name!) is suing Full Tilt Poker for $40 Million dollars. Apparently after getting notice that her services were no longer needed from Full Tilt and that her name and image would be removed from the website, she filed suit asking for damages due to breach of contract.

Apparently the whole deal she had negotiated with FTP was verbal, during phone calls and meetings in Las Vegas in 2004.

While the sordid details are not available, we’re pretty sure it has little to nothing to do with the fact that Clonie now plays and looks the part of an Atlantic City hooker that solicits you the second you walk out of a casino.

Tiltware, the company behind Full Tilt Poker had this to say about the suit:

Tiltware LLC Comment re Clonie Gowen lawsuit.

“Tiltware, LLC, has been made aware of the recent filing of a meritless lawsuit by a former Full Tilt Poker endorser — Ms. Cycalona Gowen. All claims have no merit and there are many inaccuracies improperly and unlawfully asserted by Ms. Gowen within her frivolous complaint. Tiltware LLC expects that this lawsuit will be dealt with accordingly by a competent court in due course.”

Annie Duke - Full Tilt Poker bound?

Rumors are swirling that Annie Duke may leave Ultimate Bet and head over to her brothers camp at Full Tilt Poker. In addition, it appears that she may have won Celebrity Apprentice or at least made the final two of that show. Of course, the taped episodes haven’t been released for airing yet and the results are supposed to be “top secret” so take it with a grain of salt.

While no one cares much about Celebrity Apprentice anyway, the bit about her heading to Full Tilt is interesting. Considering she’s one of the original pro players that have backed UB it would be a pretty big blow for her to leave. Of course, the UB scandal and the fact that it’s going to play out on an upcoming 60 Minutes episode could be driving forces in this as well. Like her or not, you have to respect her business wit if she does decide to bail on UB and head to FTP.

Will we see a new Duke Family table in red over at Full Tilt Poker? Will Annie really win Celebrity Apprentice? Will anyone care? We will continue to track this developing story provided by our friends at Wicked Chops.

Largest online poker pot record broke four times this Sunday

The online poker record was set and broken four times this weekend. The “old” record was held by patitino and trex313 when a mere pair of 2’s with a Queen kicker took down the $610,000.00 pot. That record was beat this past Sunday when durrrr and LarsLuzak tied up at Full Tilt Poker with a short-lived record pot of $617,968.00. Within a very short timeframe, that record would fall when durrr and John Juanda went at it with durrrr holding pocket Aces against the pocket Kings of Juanda. A King spiked on the river to give Juanda the $678,069.00 pot.

Not to be outdone, Phil Ivey and John Juanda would play another monster pot. This time it was Ivey with a flopped set of 10’s to Juanda’s flush draw. The money got in on the flop and no flush arrived to save Juanda from losing the massive $687,622.00 pot to Ivey.

Finally, just nine hours after the last record hand dropped, durrrr and Urindanger tangled. Again, it was a battle of pocket Kings (durrrr) versus pocket Aces for Urindanger. No miracle cards arrived and Urindanger took down the pot for a whopping $723,938.00.

I don’t think anyone would be surprised at this point to see online poker’s first million dollar pot before the end of 2008. With the stacks that some of these players have had (several have topped one million dollars) there’s little question as to WHEN as opposed to IF the first million dollar pot will go down. The only question is who will be the big winner? Our money is on durrrr as he’s had an uncanny ability to find himself in the middle of these insane pots.

Durr vs LarsLuzak - Largest pot in online poker history

Barely more than 24 hours after we broke the story on Tom durrrr Dwan having a long lost twin brother, here we come with the breaking news on the largest pot ever for online poker.

Calling off all of his remaining stack of 200K on the river with two pair is sick at these nosebleed limits. So sick. But this adds yet another historic pot to his belt and lifts durrrr to over 2 MILLION in winnings for October.

Here’s the drama as it played out:

Full Tilt Poker Game #8659493490: Table RailHeaven (6 max) - $500/$1000 - No Limit Hold’em - 20:00:45 ET - 2008/10/25
Seat 1: durrrr ($308,984.25)
Seat 2: LarsLuzak ($311,232.25)
Seat 4: Ziigmund ($100,000), is sitting out
LarsLuzak posts the small blind of $500
durrrr posts the big blind of $1,000
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
LarsLuzak raises to $3,000
durrrr calls $2,000
*** FLOP *** [9c 5d 2s]
durrrr checks
LarsLuzak bets $4,000
durrrr raises to $12,700
LarsLuzak has 15 seconds left to act
LarsLuzak calls $8,700
*** TURN *** [9c 5d 2s] [Ac]
durrrr has 15 seconds left to act
Ziigmund stands up
durrrr bets $24,700
LarsLuzak has 15 seconds left to act
LarsLuzak calls $24,700
*** RIVER *** [9c 5d 2s Ac] [7h]
durrrr has 15 seconds left to act
durrrr bets $68,700
LarsLuzak has 15 seconds left to act
LarsLuzak has requested TIME
LarsLuzak raises to $270,832.25, and is all in
durrrr has 15 seconds left to act
durrrr has requested TIME
durrrr calls $199,884.25, and is all in
Uncalled bet of $2,248 returned to LarsLuzak
*** SHOW DOWN ***
LarsLuzak shows [6d 4s] Ace Nine high
durrrr shows [Ad 9d] two pair, Aces and Nines
durrrr wins the pot ($617,968) with two pair, Aces and Nines
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $617,968.50 | Rake $0.50
Board: [9c 5d 2s Ac 7h]
Seat 1: durrrr (big blind) showed [Ad 9d] and won ($617,968) with two pair, Aces and Nines
Seat 2: LarsLuzak (small blind) showed [6d 4s] and lost with Ace Nine high
Seat 4: Ziigmund is sitting out

Tom “durrrr” Dwan has a twin brother

Twisted Gambler has uncorked what is sure to send shock waves throughout the online poker community. Tom Dwan, also known as “durrr” playing the nose bleed stakes at Full Tilt Poker, has a twin brother. Long abandoned by his big brother (Tom is almost 4 minutes older than his little brother), Tim Dwan is pissed and he has made it clear to this reporter that he wants to be compensated.

It’s a sad commentary on the US attitude of entitlement but often a very common event once a family member learns of another family member who’s “made it big”.  While reading his monthly copy of “Ventriloquist Quarterly”, Tim Dwan saw a small side item about one of his “peers” running into Tom after a show at the Bellagio.

Tim showed up in Vegas the very next day and began to search for his brother in earnest. Rather than end his search in vain, Tim asked Twisted Gambler to help. We didn’t have to look any further than the chat box at FTP at Rail Heaven.

When confronted with details of his twin brother still being alive, Tom replied “I thought that bastard died after the wood chipper incident. It was a complete accident, obv but if that dude is looking for money he’s out of his mind”.

Tim had little to offer in terms of a reply other than to say, “The wood chipper incident is matter of interpretation and my attorneys will present our version very soon”.

While it’s the policy here at Twisted to remain neutral on legal matters between brothers, we still can’t get over the resemblance these two have. Regardless of whether Tom really did try to turn his brother into a box of toothpicks, we believe that these two will ultimately resolve their differences.

FTP signs new Red Pro - The Kool Aid Man

You heard it here first, folks.

The Twisted Gambler has just been informed by our ex KGB/FBI/DOT/NASA super-secret spy that Full Tilt Poker has signed a new Red Pro. Following the footsteps of countless “famous” Internet pros, the popular online poker site has managed to sign an icon- The Kool Aid Man. You may remember him from those famous commercials where he would burst through the door, serving Kool Aid to the kids and leaving behind a big ass mess for their parents to clean up.

We had the chance to speak with this outgoing, larger-than-life character via telephone this morning and asked him to share his thoughts on being the next Full Tilt Poker Red Pro.

Twisted Gambler (TG) - Wow, we would have never pegged you for a big online poker player. What did you say when Full Tilt first contacted you about being a Red Pro?

Kool Aid Man (KAM) - OH YEAAHH!

TG - Yup, we’d likely have that same reaction if FTP were to call us with that sort of offer. Are you very excited about the opportunity to share the stage with other Red Pro’s like Chris Ferguson and Phil Ivey?

KAM - OH YEAAHH!

TG - Are there plans for you to play in the 2009 World Series of Poker as part of Team Full Tilt?

KAM - OH YEAAHH!

TG - Very nice, we look forward to seeing you there. It’s rumored that you’re a big NLHE player and while we hate to stir up bad blood, you were apparently banned from Poker Stars for multi-accounting. Is this true and do you have any plans to multi-account at Full Tilt, just like Eli Elezra?

KAM - OH YEAAHH!

TG - Well, thank you very much for taking the time to speak to us today. Are there any words of wisdom you’d like to share with your millions of fans around the world?

KAM - OH YEAAHH! (followed by silence)

At that point we decided that perhaps the Kool Aid Man was much too excited to expand on his reasons for multi-accounting or share any words of wisdom. Regardless, we’re all very excited to see this new player at Full Tilt Poker and wish him the very best!

FTOPS X Coming Up Soon

Starting on November 5th, Full Tilt Poker will run their latest series of the Full Tilt Online Poker Series (FTOPS). Since this is the tenth installment of the tournament series, it has been dubbed FTOPS X. FTOPS X promises to be the most exciting version of the tournament yet, as Full Tilt has decided to add more events, more guaranteed money, and tons of different poker variations and tournament structures.

Like I just mentioned, this is going to be the biggest FTOPS to date, and will have a total of 25 tournaments. Between all 25 tournaments there will be a total prize pool of $15 million guaranteed, and most players expect the tournaments to grow even larger then their guarantees. One cool thing about this FTOPS is the fact that Full Tilt has really expanded the tournament to include some unique tournament structures and game varieties. Here are a few of the more “out there” tournaments:

Event #2 is a $256 Pot Limit Omaha tournament, but will also be a bounty tournament. Most of your buy-in will go to the prize pool, but a small portion will go to a “bounty” on your head, and whoever knocks you out will receive that money instantly. Right after that is Event #3, which is a $535 NLH Triple Shootout. Another cool one is Event #18, which is a $322 Razz event. That one will really test players all around poker skills.

Event #22 may even outshine the Main Event, as it is a two-day, $5,200 buy-in, No Limit Hold’em tournament. This is a $2 million guaranteed, and will definitely attract the best online poker players in the world. First place is expected to be around $350,000, so this is one you definitely don’t want to miss if you’re a high stakes MTT player.

Of course, the whole thing culminates with Event #25, which is the Main Event. This is a $535 NLH event, and expects to have at least 5,000 players enter to reach the $2.5 million guarantee put out by Full Tilt.

Another thing that is pretty cool about the FTOPS is their “Bouncebackability” Freeroll. Any player who bubbles any FTOPS event is automatically entered into this freeroll, and first place is entry into the FTOPS XI Main Event. Since there will only be 25 players in this, it is a great value and a cool little promotion for Full Tilt players.

Satellites are already running for FTOPS events, so make sure to head over to Full Tilt and qualify now. Good luck!