To help spice up the show next year, we just forwarded this list to Jeffrey Pollack (WSOP Commissioner) and the big wigs at ESPN. We’re sitting by the phone right now, just waiting for the phone call from the network to tell us about our awesomeness.

3. (Only applies if Mike Matusow makes the final table) Upon arriving at the table and before play begins, each player has a line of blow on the rail. After snorting it, they have to do 25 jumping jacks and down a shot of hard liquor.

3. During breaks have Penn and Teller do magic tricks for the crowd. Making Norm Chad disappear would instantly boost the ratings, ask anyone.

1. Out of the blue, have Phil Hellmuth burst onto the set, jump onto the table, and take a piss on it while telling all of the players how fucking stupid they are. When he’s done, he can make them all clean up the piss while he berates them for only making the final table due to luck.

There’s more that could be added to the list but we’re too lazy to try and come up with more funny shit to say about how poorly the broadcast was. After trying to build up hype for over 100 days, ESPN failed miserably.

If you can think of anything better/more funny to say, feel free to send it us by commenting on this thread. If your shit is funnier than our shit, we’ll be happy to publish it and give you a shout out.

If you’re not the creative type and just think this post was a waste of time, then feel free to play some poker. And kiss our ass.